According to Merriam Webster, “Sugar mama refers to a woman, often one who is married, who gives financial support to a typically younger lover.” The term may seem oddly familiar as we often hear about sugar daddies in various media. Usually, this term is used in a sort of derogatory manner to refer to rich men/women who spend lavishly on their (usually) younger lover in exchange for sexual favors. But, like everything in life, it is more complicated than you might think.
Sex isn’t always the answer.
Before you set out on the quest to find a sugar mama, you need to know what it entails. While the internet may lead you to believe that these women are merely succubi in human skin, you will be very wrong. I am not saying that a physical relationship is not required or that you shouldn’t have such thoughts. The desire for sex is, after all, one of the most basic instincts, and an excellent sexual dynamic goes a long way towards stable relationships.
However, you should not be searching for a sugar mama if that is all you desire. To start with, someone in a position to be a sugar mama will honestly have far better options than you if all they wanted was sex. They are willing to spend so much time and money on this endeavor because they want other things in addition to that. Maybe they want companionship. It could be that they are investing their resources to find someone capable of communicating with them in a way they desire.
It does not mean that a sugar mama is desperate for your company; far from that. The fact that they are generally older women means that they have had a lot more time than you to forge relationships. Therefore, what matters is the substance you can offer to them through your relationship.
You’ll need to put in some effort.
Many young males tend to think that getting a sugar mama is all about their looks. It, however, is another misconception. Take one look through various social media, and you’ll be able to find many older men that look far more handsome than you’ll ever do. If that were the only criteria, a sugar mama would not have to go out of her way to date a young guy.
Cougar Life, one of the biggest dating websites in this sphere, states that these women look for younger men to find an equal that they haven’t seen in men of their age. They may be looking for a sense of humor that hasn’t been eroded with age. Or maybe they want someone hyperactive and thrill-seeking – qualities that are often lacking in many sensible adults.
Even if you meet these criteria, you can not be lazy while dealing with a sugar mama. You will always have to be mindful and courteous while communicating with them. They will want you to be well-dressed and groomed adequately for your dates. You will also need to be able to communicate your intentions regarding the direction of the relationship clearly.
Sugar mama(s) are often women with an incredible drive, and you will have to spend a lot of energy to keep up!
Should you consider getting a sugar mama?
Like every relationship, you should always consider your capacity alongside the pros and cons before committing to it. Before embarking on this journey, think for yourself. Why do you need a sugar mama? Is it just because you heard or read somewhere that you will make bank without much effort? Or is it because you want to try dating someone who actually knows what they want in their life for once?
If you are in the former camp, then you are slightly mistaken. While it is true that being with a sugar mama can mean a lot of financial benefits, these benefits can have a wide range. Some sugar mommies spend a lot and even go as far as to pay for rent and other amenities in addition to giving a monthly allowance to their cub (a term used to refer to the young man dating a sugar mama). In comparison, others may only pay for things when you’re out with them on a date or a holiday.
For the people in the latter camp, you shouldn’t expect everything to be smooth as butter. Before starting a relationship, you should carefully consider the age gap and make sure that you can communicate in a relevant way. After all, being a meme king would do you no good if your potential partner does not have the tiniest bit of interest in it. Similarly, you should be aware that if you plan to date an older lady, you will also have to deal with people around her who will most likely be of a similar age. Therefore, a bit of research will take you a long way if you plan to have a long-lasting relationship.
How easy is it to get a sugar mama?
The internet is a terrifying place these days, and the likelihood of you getting scammed or catfished is very high if you aren’t careful. You will often find many pages on Facebook or Instagram claiming to be sugar mama agents, but they are all scams.
These scammers always follow a set pattern. First, they have a surface-level conversation with you to establish your susceptibility. Then, they start using various tricks to siphon money off of you. They may even go as far as to set up an in-person meeting with you only for you to get catfished at the end. Therefore, on your quest to find a sugar mama, you should never think with your penis. Be careful and never share your personal or financial information unless you are entirely sure about what you are doing.
Even if you manage to find a sugar mama, always be observant of things you discuss or do with her. Never compromise your values for the sake of money, and always let the other person know if you are feeling uncomfortable. Finally, never do creepy things like sending unsolicited pics of your member, making every conversation sexual, or stalking them.
You should always respect each other’s boundaries in a relationship, and it is indispensable to be mindful of that with a sugar mama. After all, an excuse like you are young will not fly if you were the one who sought out a relationship with a more mature person.
Where to get a sugar mama?
There are many dating websites out there where you will be to find a sugar mama for yourself. However, most of them are sketchy at best. Therefore, we have compiled this concise list to help you out in your journey.
- Zoosk – This is a popular dating website that isn’t specifically built for this purpose. However, you can easily set your preferred age limit to ensure you only see results in line with your sugar mama preferences. Also, if you get their paid subscription, you will be able to filter out a lot of the noise and also be able to see the profile of people who have seen yours.
- Seeking – It has been prevalent since 2006 for sugar babies/cubs looking to find their sugar mama/daddy. The website is very friendly to use and comes with a section where you can specify your arrangement expectations to make sure you get what you need.
- OkCupid – This popular dating website uses powerful algorithms to match you with people that fit your taste. The website will ask you numerous questions during the initial setup to ensure that it knows you well enough to provide relevant recommendations.
- Tinder – The most popular dating app in the world. It has millions of users worldwide, and with such sheer numbers, you will easily be able to find the sugar mama for you with a bit of effort. Just be on the lookout for any scams or catfishing.
- Bumble – Another world-famous app. Bumble has a different approach to dating as it only allows women to take the first step. Therefore, it is perfect if you want a sugar mama to find you rather than spending effort to find them.
So, what do you think? Do you need a sugar mama? Or have you dropped your plans? Let us know in the comments below!
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